Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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