I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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