I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
