my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
