if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
