Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize