Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
