Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
