sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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