I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
As shirtless as possible
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
