Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
