I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
