please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
