like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
