North Korea, Best Korea!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
