Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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