She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
