Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
then he tried to convert me to islam
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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