Whod you bang
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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