The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
