is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
