I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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