i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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