no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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