Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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