My cat gives me a boner
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
