I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
