So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
