I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
