it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
