I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
