proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
