I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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