worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
