Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You need Xanax blowdarts
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
