yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
