That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
