Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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