She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
