He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
