Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize