I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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