I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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