New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
