It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
