do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
