areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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