yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize