If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
