I wanna bring you to show and tell
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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