the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
