well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
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You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
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Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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