You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
