thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
