Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
