I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
