that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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