I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
