He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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