I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
