and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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