Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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