Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
